I noticed in tech in particular people apologize for the stupidest thing, almost apologizing for their own existence. This is particularly worrisome when you see your manager apologizing for his own gender, whiteness or using the "wrong" word du jour. It's worrisome because I imagine him making a case for my for promotion, or shielding the team from some bullshit decision coming from top (or sideways). It radiates meekness, weakness and unreliability, it's worse when it's from your leader.
I'm not saying people shouldn't apologize, but they should do so with care and only when they mean it. Some people prey on your weakness (even if they also come off as harmless victims!) and once you show signs of it, you're done.
And then there are other people who refuse to apologize for anything, even something that should be trivial to apologize for like rescheduling a meeting. Not that every meeting rescheduling requires an apology, but you start to notice who took the LinkedIn advice of βto apologize is to show weakness.β
That's an interesting way of looking at it because I see the ability to apologize as a sign of strength, respect and leadership. And when someone refuses to apologize, I usually see fear and untrustworthiness.
If someone was apologizing too much, it might be annoying, but if someone isn't apologizing enough it feels dangerous to me. Maybe because of history when dictators try to use "strength" and being "right" as their defining leadership qualities, while falling short on reasoning, reconciliation and respect.
I'm not saying people shouldn't apologize, but they should do so with care and only when they mean it. Some people prey on your weakness (even if they also come off as harmless victims!) and once you show signs of it, you're done.