Sounds like your devices are not being controlled by Google, but are instead being left in AT&T's hands... I'm very sorry to hear that, but it shows yet again that AT&T is the weakest link...
AT&T has nothing to do with the "AT&T" N1, and 2.2 is not officially out for any N1 model, be it the T-Mobile version or AT&T/Rogers version.
The devices getting the Froyo update via OTA right now are a subset of the AWS-compatible phones that Google first released in January, and handed out to the press and Google employees. In other words, there's no Froyo update for the N1 made for the AT&T/Rogers bands because Google's not using them to dogfood the OS image right now.
edit: now if we get into how there are some apps you can't get on the Android Market because AT&T told Google you can't have them, that's something slimy that AT&T is doing. For example, if there's an AT&T SIM in your phone, the Market won't let you download PDANet. Pull the sim, though, and there it is...
