I can understand that, but I still disagree with your conclusion.

Know that it doesn't last, enjoy it while it's there and try to lay the foundations for an adult relationship in the meanwhile, so that you could get past the infatuation phase (which, as you say, is inevitable) without breaking up.

Being with a partner who thinks it can last forever if they just find the perfect person can be a recipe for disaster, though one would hope most people grow out of that state of mind after a few attempts.

It's not my argument, but I do see some validity. You suggest 'enjoy it while its there' which is excellent advice- but at the same time, simply put, life-changing decisions aren't going to sit around and wait 3 years for limerence to wear off.

    life-changing decisions aren't going 
    to sit around and wait 3 years for 
    limerence to wear off.

True, that's a tough cookie.

I guess the best choice in that case is to recognize the situation and try to rationally analyze it (e.g. "I'm not really in a good position in life to marry that women/have kids/move thousands of kilometers to a different continent to peruse this cute girl I've met 3 days ago while backpacking in the Himalayas[1]") and act accordingly - even though that's not very romantic.

Easier said than done, though.

[1] Unfortunately that one comes from personal experience.

That's good advice -- to start laying the foundation for a good transition from a limerent relationship to a companionate one, but isn't it very possible to have another limerent object while you're already in a companionate relationship with one? That's a troubling thought. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

I don't feel comfortable giving advice on that matter because I didn't have to handle something like that myself, so take the following with a big grain of salt.

I am sure you can get infatuated with another person while being in a loving relationship, but I tried not to put myself in a situation where the possibility of 'something just happened' even arises in the first place.

As a programmer who works in a >90% male environment and whose hobbies are similarly male-dominant, that might be easier for me to achieve than for some people.

With that disclaimer in mind, my opinion is that if you've let yourself fall in love with someone else you either:

1. Didn't really love your spouse (or thought you could do better) and might have subconsciously tried to break up or make your spouse break up with you (another declaimer: I am not a psychologist either).

2. Were not acting as a responsible adult, otherwise you would have seen it coming and taken measures against it.

3. Are confident that your relationship can survive 'harmless' affairs and craved the thrill and excitement but didn't want to leave your partner for it.

I don't think there is necessarily anything morally wrong with that last possibility, although one would hope you've discussed being in an open relationship with your partner beforehand.