Government‑issued age‑verification tokens for offline computers are going to be hilarious. I hope they come in suppository form factor.

Combine fingerprint biometric with fecal samples for a convenient "fecalprint" button. The user doesn't even have to go into the bathroom! It can be microslops version of Apple's TouchID.

You're absolutely right! It's not just a fecalprint button, it's a feces platform!

just press your bumhole to the glass