This was my experience when I moved to CO. On the east coast I had to drive to running trails and cycling routes by my house had no shoulders and a lot of traffic. In CO I had access to 120 miles of trails from my backyard and the roads had either dedicated bike lanes or wide shoulders.
Add in a walkable grocery store and I was a lot more active in CO than I was on the east coast.
I do this with internal teams at work. I've found approaching other teams with issues with their library/framework in a "this could be our mistake" manner really helps in keeping them from getting defensive and stonewalling.
Saying, "I'm sorry; I've made a mistake" is the killer disarming technique for even the most emotional conflict. Not sure if it's our pride or fear of liability but western culture is very hesitant to say "sorry" - other than the fake one "I'm sorry if anyone interpreted my actions|remarks|words as ..." - that doesn't count.
I know this is a tangent, but if anything, western culture is better about this. We're not an "honor" culture, and we don't warp family relationships to "save face". People are not even allowed to apologize in some other cultures because it brings shame on their family/group.
To give a really grotesque example, there is an country run by autocrats that carelessly unleashed a plague on the world because they prioritized their self image over taking descisive action to prevent an epidemic.
There are plenty of examples of honor culture within western culture, such as the Antebellum South. Dueling was huge amongst the aristocratic cultures of Europe and US (see Alexander Hamilton). It is certainly making a comeback today. In the US specifically certain people were against mask mandates to the point where they actually banned people wearing masks during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Masks became a point of contention where some people needed to defend the family/group from wearing them at any cost.
Do NOT do this too much, though. I did this in my last relationship and it turned into resentment from me, while she walked all over me, knowing I would say sorry for everything. It wasn’t her fault, I should’ve protected my values more, but this is a slippery slope. However, my next partner in my opinion should take this and say something like “no, this is not your fault. Let’s work on it”.
It could go both ways. I can never change though; saying sorry is too simple for me
Sir, I don't know you at all, but coming from personal experience, if you often get walked over, maybe it's time to stop taking shape of a door mat. Maybe it _was_ her fault, and you deserve better.
I would agree on this from experience, even though I would agree with the initial statement as well. The advice applies for some parts in life but not all social contexts.
It's also very Japanese to say "sorry" and accepting blame I believe. That might be what they mean with by "Asian culture", but it's certainly doesn't apply to all of Asia.
Years ago we started to get basic introduction into Chinese culture, so that we could better navigate situations with a Chinese customer. This helped to better understand requirements and defuse certain situations. I've NEVER experience Chinese or Indian companies go to the same length, instead they will frequently attempt to bullshit their way out of situations or be offended that you believe that their product/service might in some way be at fault and they sure as hell won't apologize for it, under any circumstances.
Absolutely. The same is true for bug reports: if you always approach any bug report with the possibility that it may be your mistake, 1) you avoid annoying someone if it is your mistake, and might actually get helpful advice, and 2) you're more likely to get a cordial reception for real bugs.
You don't have to be excessively self-effacing about it, just avoid presenting things as though the project you're reporting it to being at fault is the only possible conclusion.
It's also important to consider how what you view as a bug might not be one from the point of view of the person treating your issue. It is so, so infuriating to receive a "bug" report asking you to "fix" something that is in fact a feature request for something that is not implemented yet.
Even if you get an error from the software, consider that you might not be using it as intended or setup properly.
I do something similar. Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm doing something wrong. Can you help me figure it out?
Then be grateful for the help, because it truly isn't granted or a given that people have to drop everything and figure things out for you, even if you work together. And even if the mistake was actually theirs. Gratitude is huge.
Say "I might have made a mistake" as there's always a non zero probability even if small that you actually have even if you believe 100% that you haven't.
Yeah because a bunch of people will read this and instead of realising this means their state of mind should be one of humbleness and respect for who is going to help you, and that's why you lead with "hey I made a mistake", they'll still feel like other people messed up and are dumb and an obstacle to whatever they need to do but will add "I made a mistake" as a first sentence "life hack". Usually you can tell if someone means it based on how they write or say the rest of what they need though.
You'd probably get the same response approaching them with a "we're trying to do this but couldn't make it work, could you help us ?" kind of pitch.
Except if you're actually convinced it could be your mistake, getting that tone will feel like getting played like some small kid. Most people will help you anyway and be professional, of course.
That reminds me of detective Columbo. It's cute and all when it's supposed to be done to strangers. Imagine Columbo coming to you every week with that same convoluted spiel.
The only "rule" around vacation is the longer the vacation the more notice you _should_ give. I've had colleagues take 5-6 weeks off, but they let the team know 4-5 months in advance so it wasn't a big deal and we could work around it.
Local law for me is I believe twice the time off advance notice. 5-6 weeks would require 10-12 weeks of notice. In principle employer can refuse for important business requirements, you can suggest two alternative times and if they refuse all three you can just dictate when you will be taking holidays.
Asserting your rights can have social consequences, of course, but if you need to assert your rights... the real benefit of the law is setting the norms of how people behave.
Yeah, I've had several teammates take a month-ish of to travel, most of it comes down to just giving a good heads up that it's coming.
I set up a shared team calendar and asked people to mark when they're off so others can be aware and try to minimise overlap (not that it's banned, just be aware and if you're like "well were going either this week or this" and someone else is already off one of those weeks strongly consider it a point in favor of the other).
My last place also called it promotion-driven-devevlopment.
It got to the point where some dude built a system that completely floundered but got him a promotion. He then re-wrote it so it sucked slightly less and got another promotion. Last I heard he was working on v3.
Never mind that someone with actual domain knowledge would have either not built the system (since it didn't _really_ need to exist) or would have built a much simpler/more reliable system to get the job done.
Can't disagree. He's was doing what the incentives in place said he should be doing.
I would find it boring/tedious to keep rebuilding the same thing since I'm more of a solve the problem, operationalize the solution, then move on person.
Ah, but he "de-risked" the project by getting it out the door quickly, he started "delivering immediate value" despite the rough edges, and "has the technical acumen to optimize it further."
I got downleveled in a job offer recently after being interviewed about a project which I labored to make as simple and efficient as possible. They said after careful evaluation, the project wasn't technical enough to merit the title I wanted. Live and learn!
I don't but know folks who do. They keep track of things they want to watch until they get to the point where subscribing for a month makes sense then cancel at the end of the month.
The hard part is keeping track of what you want to watch and what service it's on and whether it's still there when you want to watch.
justwatch.com helps a lot with this. For each show, it tells you in which steaming service it is available. You can also track and wishlist everything.
The "Judging Sam" podcast had some color on this from a reporter who was there. It felt to them like she was a bit overwhelmed at being walked into a packed courtroom with everyone staring at her then being asked to point out a guy who's appearance had changed a lot recently (haircut and suit/tie).
Personally, I can't imagine being very composed in that situation at that age.
My background is in linear (title VI and OTT) and ad-insertion. A big chunk of my job is explaining to folks that just because you solved VOD that doesn't mean you've solved linear. It's almost best to think of them as two distinct problems.
