“You lie awake at night worrying about what is that which will disrupt your business model,” he said. “Apple iMessage is a classic example. If you’re using iMessage, you’re not using one of our messaging services, right? That’s disruptive to our messaging revenue stream.”

Dude, go eat a bag of dicks. Seriously. You are, in 2012, STILL making $1,250 dollars per MEGABYTE of text message data. If there's anything that requires "disruption," it's the disgustingly gross excess of the text messaging business model. Long live capitalism and innovation.

Dear NPR,

I know this is just one of your employees' blogs, and I know it very likely doesn't represent the official stance of National Public Radio on hat-wearing, globalism or international politics. I also happen to agree with the parent that this theory is a bit of a stretch, but hey...that's life.

That said, I'd like to thank you for writing anything about this subject at all, because without you folks, I'm reasonably sure I wouldn't be thinking about hat-wearing on a sunny Saturday afternoon. So, nutty or not, thanks for providing some mind-expanding reading material. I'll try not to extrapolate this light bit of reading into a narrative about your awareness of the world at large.

Dear NPR,

You do realise that there's a world outside the United States, right? And that in Britain, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, all the other culturally similar countries, they also stopped wearing hats sometime in the 1950s and 60s? That public transport remains the main way for (say) Londoners to get to work, and yet that the hat slowly vanished from the heads of Londoners over roughly the same period that it vanished from the heads of Los Angelinos?